How to be Etiquette-Savvy in the Workplace

It is a natural desire to want your children to know the socially acceptable rules of etiquette, so you teach them often and reinforce the lessons even more. Some of you even provide additional training from an outside organization or etiquette coach. After all, they’re your children and you will do anything to nurture them into caring, well-mannered individuals that you can be proud of, right?

But what if you work with adults who know less about manners and proper etiquette than your child’s pet rock? What if you’re constantly in the presence of people who just don’t think at all about cordial behavior? How do you keep your own manners intact when you’re reeling from the faux pas of others?

Well, a large part of proper etiquette is knowing what to do when the behavior of others around you is less than proper. Below, you will find three common “missteps” that are often made in the professional arena. Following are tips on how to respectfully handle them without anyone’s feelings getting hurt. 

Misstep #1: You are in the middle of a telephone conversation with a colleague and find that, without your permission, you have been placed on ‘speaker’.

Your Etiquette-Savvy Response:

If you don’t care about being on speaker, then don’t worry about this and let it go. But if you do care about proper telephone etiquette and this behavior of your colleague, which is rude; whether intentional or not, politely ask to be taken off speaker and request that in the future, you are asked before being placed on speaker for surrounding ears to hear. After addressing this, you can freely search your mind to be sure you hadn’t said anything that could be considered inappropriate if you were overheard.

Misstep #2: During a formal business luncheon, the person next to you unknowingly takes the cutlery that is meant for you which leaves you with no utensils to eat with since the person on the other side of you knew which pieces belonged to them.

Your Etiquette-Savvy Response: 

Avoiding a big fuss, simply signal your waiter or waitress and mention that you are missing your utensils. This is neither the time nor the place to give basic table setting lessons to your business colleague. Hopefully, they will realize their mistake without embarrassment and appreciate your consideration in the matter. Then everyone is free to proceed with the business lunch.  

Misstep #3: You work in adjoining cubicles and your ‘neighbor’ is carrying on a personal telephone conversation that is getting progressively loud.

Your Etiquette-Savvy Response:

Avoid the impulse to go over and hang up your co-worker’s phone, stand up (if the partition’s height allows you to be seen) and gently tap on your ear to indicate that the phone conversation is too loud. Another response would be to write your co-worker the following note and pass it to them: “You may not be aware, but your voice is carrying and I’m sure you don’t want the office to know your personal business”.   

There you have it; three ways to address less than proper workplace behavior while remaining Etiquette-Savvy. Keep in mind though, that it is never polite to point out someone else’s mistakes in front of others or in such a way that will embarrass them. Etiquette is about respect; for people and relationships. By considering the feelings of others, you build trust in relationships.

When a behavioral error has been made, there’s no guarantee that anything you do or say to correct that behavior will be positively received by the person who made the mistake. But chances are great that a polite response from you will be appreciated, maybe even reciprocated somewhere down the line. Remember, no one’s perfect. We all slip-up from time to time and being reminded of basic etiquette is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s all in how we deliver those reminders.

So in the interest of employee morale; and not to mention, your own peace of mind, don’t you owe it to your place of business and to yourself to do what you can to keep relationships trusting and behaviors pleasant? And since etiquette is all about respect and considering others, what better way is there to show loyalty to colleagues and ultimately, your workplace.