CHILDERN AND STORYTELLING HIGHLIGHT FAMILY HISTORY 

Do you think family history is a bunch of dates and old, worn-out pictures of unidentified people?

Think again. Better yet, consider the following:

What's your favorite food?

Where were you born?

Who were your best elementary school friends?

What was your favorite board game when you were a kid?

Did you have an after-school job? How much did you earn?

You may have the answers to these questions, but would your children know if you asked them? What about your siblings, your cousins?

Your responses involve the past and your answers create your story, making it a part of your family's story and its history. 

If your children are aware of these things about you, CONGRATULATIONS! You're on the right track!

If not, then I ask you, what better time is there than now to perpetuate your history through them?

Storytelling has always been the best way to pass on history, and since no child can resist a good story, here're some ways to include the kids to ensure your legacy continues:   

• Reinstate traditional bedtimes to bond with your little ones. Share fact-filled memories of the fun you had with other family members. 
• Replace familiar bedtime stories with interesting tales of current relatives and ancestors. 
• Gather old photos and build stories around each one. Talk about the people in the picture and what they were doing. Discuss the time period and location of each photo.
• Encourage the kids to join in the storytelling by creating short stories of their own based on what they see in the picture.
• Write the stories down and retell them later (this creates a collection of family bedtime stories of your own - another fact to be added to your family's history). 

So you see, chronicling family history doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to depend on the expertise of Genealogists. Nor does it depend on pages and pages of forms to be kept by one person in one place.  

It just takes a few facts to get started and a willingness to keep it going. And it depends a great deal on the children. Through creativity and involvement, they are the key. 

So inform them, engage them. Pass on the facts, but teach them that your family history is not just names, dates and locations. It's not just about your past. Family history is about capturing the love spent in each moment; the moments that grow together to create a promising legacy for tomorrow. 

BE WILLING TO GO FULL-CIRCLE

For years when I was a child, I would often hear people say (in total exasperation) that life took them "full-circle". They never said it in a good way, usually sounding annoyed and hinting that the 'circle' was useless and redundant. There’s nothing wrong with a circle and definitely nothing wrong with going full-circle.

Exactly what is a circle? Like everything else in life, the idea of it is a matter of perspective.

For example; to some people, a circle signifies boundaries and strength. Remember the little kid who’d start a fight by tracing a circle in the dirt and daring anyone to step into it. To him, that circle meant confidence and power. That is, until another kid saw the circle as an opportunity to prove his mettle as he answered the dare and stepped into the circle, too.

What is a circle?

It could be confirmation of the circle of life to the woman whose protective womb holds the promise of a new beginning.

A circle to some adults can mean love, security and infinity as in the symbolized shape of a wedding band. But to others, that same symbolized circle can mean limitations, unwanted boundaries and stagnation.

For me, circles signify both stillness and movement. To go full-circle gives me a sense of peace and completion; yet with a promise of continuous energy.

A journal entry I made a few years prior to my retirement describes feelings I had of coming full circle with a situation I pondered. I had just looked over the draft of a book I’d written (and ultimately designed a class I taught to teenagers) on Etiquette. Apparently, I’d also been thinking about what I would do after leaving my employer of almost 30 years. Here’s a portion of what I wrote:

“…which only serves to prove even more how forces much stronger than me are at work here. This draft wrote itself. The class taught itself.  I’m always writing, but now I feel I can’t help but write and that I will write even more when I’m retired. Humm…Writer and Author…the next chapter. I feel like I’ve come full circle because a Writer was my first self-identifier; the first thing I saw myself doing long, long ago. One of my oldest memories was of writing a poem on the way to school and feeling great.  I folded the paper with great ceremony (like little kids do with every paper they think is precious) and when I got to my seat, I placed it in the back of my desk for safekeeping until the end of the day when I’d take it home to show Mama…  I am whole. I've come full circle. I am home.”

For me, the circle signifies a path, and full-circle represents the force behind my life’s purpose to inspire others through my words.

The circle is whole.  It is universal; therefore, it’s natural. The circle is divine; therefore, it’s pure goodness. It’s never ending; so it is life. The circle is the Creator; therefore, it is all things and everything.  

There are many circles in life and the way you perceive each one is up to you.

So the next time you feel like you’re going in circles, stop, breathe, and in that universal moment, thank God for His circles.

When did you go Full-Circle and come out better than before?

Share your comments below.

Embrace Diversity One Word at a Time

Is there someone in your school, neighborhood, or place of business who speaks a different language than you? If so, do you know how to say "hello" in their language? If you do, that's great! The next time you see them, greet them in their own language.

But if you don't know the word "hello" in another person's language, ask them to tell you. Or how about finding out yourself and surprising them with your knowledge of their language. Then

Share your knowledge.

Teach your new word to someone else. Help them learn to speak another language and communicate with someone of another nationality. And don't stop there. "Hello" is just the beginning. It's just one expression but you can easily learn more. Branch out one word at a time and you'll soon be on your way to connecting with and understanding other great cultures of our world.

In how many languages can you say "hello"?
Share your comments below.

25 Rules of Considerate Conduct

In "Choosing Civility", the popular book by Dr. P.M. Forni*, he included the 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct, listed below for your convenient review.
 
But don't just read it. Analyze each one...evaluate it, then share it. Can you think of something you'd like to add to the list? 

There are several ways you can use this list: as a personal checkup, as a school room reminder, as lessons for the little ones, or as a means to get other people involved in civil behavior. 

My personal favorite: Post the list on the refrigerator and pick one each day -- or even better, get the kids to pick one -- and use it as a topic of discussion during dinnertime. 

Whatever your particular preference, be sure to have fun with it -- fun with a civil purpose.

THE TWENTY-FIVE RULES OF CONSIDERATE CONDUCT 

1. Pay Attention
2. Acknowledge Others
3. Think the Best
4. Listen
5. Be Inclusive
6. Speak Kindly
7. Don't Speak Ill
8. Accept and Give Praise
9. Respect Even a Subtle "No"
10. Respect Others' Opinions
11. Mind Your Body
12. Be Agreeable
13. Keep It Down (and Rediscover Silence)
14. Respect Other People's Time
15. Respect Other People's Space
16. Apologize Earnestly
17. Assert Yourself
18. Avoid Personal Questions
19. Care for Your Guests
20. Be a Considerate Guest
21. Think Twice Before Asking for Favors
22. Refrain from Idle Complaints
23. Accept and Give Constructive Criticism
24. Respect the Environment and Be Gentle to Animals
25. Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame 

*Dr. Forni is co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Civility Project.
How do you plan to use this list? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Civility Thought of the Day - Sportsmanship

Begin a family discussion on sportsmanship. Help kids to understand the importance of being a good winner as well as how to lose gracefully. Following are thoughts that can serve as reminders for kids and adults. Read this together. Discuss it often. Post it on the frig or in the kids' room as a reminder.

A Real Winner**

When competing with others,
If you don't win
And find you're in the place
You hadn't planned to be in
The polite and courteous thing to do
Is congratulate those who competed with you
And although this is honorable and socially correct
Even better, it's a sign of your own self-respect.



The Spirit of Victors**

You may have been taught how to act when you lose
But here's an even bigger piece of news
There's a more important lesson that can be learned
By players, opponents, and all rivals concerned.
The lesson is this, and should always be
That a real victor wins respectfully.
They are pleased with themselves and show gratitude
They don't display arrogance or behavior that's rude
They consider opponents and how they might feel
And know that acting Big-headed is less than ideal
To Real Victors, a win is beyond the best score
Real Victors know winners can also be sore
So embrace the spirit like real victors ~ have fun
This way, everyone is victorious in the long run.

**Excerpts from my next book:

"Will You Help Me With My Manners, Please?"

& Other Soft Skills

The Teenager's Guide to Character Development

 

{Coming Soon}

 

Civility Thought of the Day

Treat Yourself Well

When we hear the word civility, our thoughts go to kindness and respect with regards to others, but not necessarily for ourselves. To consider others, you must first honor and consider yourself. To treat yourself well each and every day:

1. Take a few moments and remind yourself of how special you are.

2. Keep your mind and body healthy and clean. Not only from physical soil, but free of unhealthy thoughts and behaviors, such as lying, gossiping or bullying.

3. Keep a winning attitude.

4. Obey all rules of safety to remain free of harm.

5. Relax your mind and body on a regular basis; not just when there's nothing else to do.

6. Take time to notice the moment. Stop right now and pay attention to the things you were just taking for granted; your breathing, your heartbeat, the feel of the furniture that presently supports you. Become conscious of any sounds and smells around you that you weren't aware of a few moments ago.

7. Turn 'empty' moments into productive reflection. Look upon those moments as opportunities to create your wants and desires. Trust the moment, yourself and your desires. Then wait for them to show up.

Practice these for starters and you're automatically on your way to a civil life for yourself and others.



How do you remind yourself of your greatness? Share with us in the comments below.

Civility Thought of the Day ~~ It's Rude to Exclude

Excluding others is inconsiderate and causes hurt feelings. Sounds like a no-brainer, right?
Then why do so many of us find ourselves whispering and carrying on private conversations to someone while in the presence of others when we know it's rude?

Now I'm not talking about the low volume that you speak in public to prevent your voice from being too loud. I'm talking about the low mummers spoken directly into someone's ear, usually while hiding your mouth so your lips can't be read.



It's Rude to Exclude

If you only think of teenagers doing this as they hang out with their friends, think again. Sadly, many adults are guilty of this as well, and because of it, and the fact that so many others indulge in this kind of behavior, it is often viewed as acceptable. But it's not.

Rude behavior is NEVER acceptable.

What if you're the person being left out? What would you think or feel?
You'd probably feel like the topic of the hushed conversation -- whether you were or not, right?

So don't dismiss another person by giving all your attention to someone else who is right there with you. If someone wants to talk, giggle or whisper to you with another person present,

Choose Respect Over Disrespect

 

Politely tell them that you choose not to be rude.

Hopefully, they'll take your lead and become more considerate, themselves.


Have you found yourself in this situation? If so, were you the whisperer? The person being whispered to? Or the one excluded completely? What did you do? Did your actions make you feel proud or ashamed?

~~Please share your thoughts in the comments section below~~